RC's Adventures in Tandangville: Episode 5: RC & the Non-Thinkers

EPISODE 5: RC & the Non-Thinkers

“RC & the Non-Thinkers” No. This isn’t the name of a kitschy, long forgotten electro-pop band from the 80’s. Rather, “Non-Thinkers” has been bandied about by RC in several exit interviews in reference to some of the castaways around her, and upon further examining this body of work, it becomes conclusive that she was unmistakably accurate in her assessment. Watching Dangrayne bumble through consecutive tribal councils (each of which had more knots than a gourmet pretzel) confirms that RC’s sagacity is just another aspect of her that needs to be reflected upon.

I don't practice Santeria/ I ain't got no crystal ball...or do I?

I know that I’m always going back to RC (can you blame me?), but she still plays a very large role in the game. Gwyneth Paltrow’s Sliding Doors is all about alternate realities and serendipitous change that can occur with the slightest of alterations. Perhaps, if Pete never planted the idol clue in RC’s bag, she wouldn’t of become at odds with RC (a big if, considering that Abi is about as stable as an igloo in a desert). Their alliance may of stuck, and quite possibly, they would be sitting pretty going into the merge with the gaudy numbers advantage. Instead, the subsequent alienation of RC would create a domino effect. RC’s first impulse come merge would be to defect, and her plan could of worked if the Kalibaw group wouldn’t of stupidly tried to appease to Tandang’s demands. It was a temporary setback that slowed down the dominos, but considering the elegant laws of thermodynamics, once the reaction began, it became irreversible.

“It’s playing out like it’s supposed to play out” Artis mentions during tribal. Indeed, his words were quite prophetic, as a divided tribe like Tandang (a tribe that had more cracks than a plumber’s convention) is designed to sit on the wall and have a great fall. The tribe was such a paradox, because the adage usually goes that a close-knit tribe will succeed and flourish at challenges, while a fractured tribe will fail to produce success. One could argue that the presence of Matsing represented a fairly easy buffer for challenges (they were rarely in the competitions), but Tandang still finished above Kalibaw often enough to suggest that they were the dominant force. Architecturally, the premise of the tribe was a glorified house of cards. And just a little wind would surely do the trick. It started with bullying RC and Mike. It continued with questioning Lisa’s loyalty. So…where’s the logic in alienating your own teammates? What’s the rationale behind openly calling out members of your team continuously and having the audacity to expect them to still vote your way? Where’s the outrage when Abi continually opens her mouth (continually proving Lincoln’s quote on the 'fool that opens their mouth') and spews nonsense while the rest of her alliance sits on their hands with the most stoic of expressions?

Trying to turn Lisa into a fulcrum character...

Penner's most stable alliance yet

Please, PLEASE don't let Abi win!!!

Chaos theory aside, a strong team in sports is just as tight off the court as they are on it, and one has to look no further than Rob Mariano’s Ometepe alliance in Survivor: Redemption Island. Rob had them working so cohesively that they had to “buddy-up” and take along a chaperone during otherwise routine, minutiae bathroom breaks, sparking the ever-cognizant Dave Murphy amazement at how “in-line“ Rob had that alliance in order. Indeed, one could argue that he was trapped with fellow Non-Thinkers (not to mention ignoramus’s) like Ralph, Julie and Steve who orchestrated arguably the dumbest thrown challenge of all time.

Non-Thinkers of the world unite!!

And meanwhile:

...All fulcrummed out.

What RC might be trying to say is that she struggled to find anybody to play the game with her. Former Kalibaw is clearly executing a plan that she was the architect of, and it’s a shame she isn’t playing to witness the fruits of her labor. At Dangrayne’s origin, Penner was trapped playing with over-thinkers (Kent) and under-thinkers (Carter), and together, they created a tribe that flubbed away their best chance for dominance post merge. When a couple of members offer to defect to the tribe that desperately lacks numbers, and such an offer gets turned down? That’s like passing “Go” and not collecting two hundred bucks. It’s like throwing the fabled ‘blank tile’ back into the letter bag during a game of Scrabble. It boggled my mind. Still does. Let’s round up the culprits.

The penultimate non-thinker?

Jeff Kent. As a major leaguer, he had 1,522 regular season strike outs, but I’d argue that his biggest whiff came during his first interactions with the Tandang triumvirate. Rather than work with Penner, he was working against him, and rather than locate cracks in Tandang, he worked to just expose cracks in his own tribe. RC offered him a proposition, but he was too blinded by his lust to guillotine Penner that he bended over backwards for Tandang. Kent’s famous clashes with slugger Barry Bonds in San Fran easily foreshadowed his struggles when it comes to alpha-players and his unwillingness to coexist with them.

Played on 6 teams in his pro career...loyalty red flag??

Carter. Loyal voters are continually important as the game progresses, but Carter falls too easily into the “blind voter” category. There’s a reason why loyal players like Becky Lee and Natalie Tenerelli reach the final Tribal and muster up a shocking zero votes from the jury. They aren’t dynamic players, and there lack of ‘big, bold moves’ often cast them in an unfavorable light when it comes time to award the Sole Survivor title out. Carter might have a strategy tucked away in that golden mop, but alas, I’d assume more bats in that belfry than brilliance.

The wires...don't always connect...

Denise & Malcolm. Boy am I confused by these two. Who’s side they are on each week remains a mystery, and the only constant is that they vote together. One week, they’re trying to oust Penner, and the next, they are voting with him? They somehow managed to squirm their way into the better graces of their alliances once Matsing was disbanded (which is notable in of itself), but I just feel they are too unpredictable for anybody to trust by this point. Part of me was hoping that Malcolm would of given his idol to Penner at the last tribal in an effort to give them the numbers (Cause I really didn’t think that Lisa or Mike would swap), but in the end, Malcolm keeps his idol, and current Kalibaw still has the numbers. My money is one of these two winning the game.

The Muscle of Matsing lives to fight another day

Never shrinks from a challenge...I know, that's lame

Mike. To work with RC, or to not work with RC? And that is the question. The more I’ve seen of him these last two weeks, I’ve become convinced that his allegiance to Tandang’s core was just as strong as his bond with RC. He always told RC the right things, even suggesting to Penner how mistreated they had been, but when push came to shove, he still voted with the bullies. He finally flipped in the last episode, but there’s no evidence to suggest that he isn’t done turning tables. I wanted to believe him to be RC’s champion, but the piling evidence suggests that his game involved using RC as a sacrifice in order to better himself within the very people he claimed to detest.

Mike Skupin or Woody Harrelson?

Lisa. Every now and then, you come across somebody that wholeheartedly believes that Billy Idol’s “Dancing With Myself” is a song that is actually about…dancing. Her naivety has been one of the more played-up story lines this season, and her reluctance after making her bold move against Malcolm harkens back to other players trying to play a “clean” game that is impossible to uphold. Pearl Island’s Lill and Gabon’s Sugar pumped up their ability to be honest players, but as they screwed over countless players, the blood on their hands quickly rivaled the tears in their eyes. Their games are typically full of regret, and Lisa is in danger of falling into such a trap. I just want her to take some accountability for her decisions, and fear not the consequences…rather, embrace them.

"Yes, Abi...You are the epitome of grace..." *groans*

"Is there anything less 'graceful' than hearing Abi discuss 'grace'?"

Pete. Mastermind or master fraud? Pete’s game has largely relied on controlling Abi. He thought he could control RC, but she proved to be a superior thinker, so he focused on Abi, and planted whatever seed was necessary into turning his alliance inside-out. It’s a little like, bringing Paris Hilton to a fancy, charitable ball. Sure, she’ll look good on your arm, but the second she gets into the booze or opens her mouth too much, the façade will crumble, and you’ll have a whole different mess on your hands. Pete couldn’t control Abi, and in the end, her gift of gab would alienate Mike, and cause the Evil Empire to begin to crumble.

"Wow, my Survivor beard is really lame..."

Abi. Oh dear. Maybe she has a fetish for being reamed on the game‘s biggest stage? It’s fairly obvious by this point that the combination of her personality and idol will get her far in this game. If Pete loses immunity next week, will she give her idol to Pete? Well, would Smeagol in the Lord of the Rings willingly give the Ring back to the Hobbits once he had procured it? The answer in both scenarios, is ‘no’. Abi is playing a selfish game now, and she never had an endgame. She bought herself a ticket to the final 3 by being an outstanding bitch; I have no doubt the plan will work, and at the very least; it will be sweet to watch her get ripped apart by the superior players whose game required a little more strategy than being crazy and irritable.

"Me loves the Precious. Me keeps the Precious."

In a previous secret scene, RC alludes to the fact that due to Tandang’s troubles, she didn’t realistically see a way for anybody from the tribe to win unless they got their shit together. Her stunningly accurate perspicacity becomes more opaque as the game begins to unravel. Tandang’s failure to support RC and Kalibaw’s hesitation to work with RC initially might just create an idol-a-than, which can get dicey, and could of all been avoided if one of these sides had decided to play with RC. She appears stunned when Artis is blindsided, but I think a small part of her had to of seen it coming…Abi was a train wreck waiting to happen, and it was only a matter of time until some of the passengers got off her ride in search of more stable transportation. If Tandang continues to be picked off one-by-one, then RC’s boot is just going to continue to look more and more like the defining the move of this game. Her constant presence in the jury acts as a reminder for all that Tandang is and all that it could of been. But what a presence it is though…Addressing her dress has become essential. She becomes a bed of flowers; summer’s lullaby plays melodically in the air at the very sight of RC in her vibrant number. Kent’s bland attire just further makes RC pop at every angle. In time, the Non-Thinkers will join RC, but they will still lack considerable luster alongside the season’s brightest starlet.

Just for fun, let's examine both jurors during crucial moments of the jury: