Episode 6: The Crying Game
Disclaimer: For RC fans, this post is more or less about Abi and her flawed game. RC’s adventures at Ponderosa continue at the bottom of the post, and I will not be offended if you offer to bypass my analysis of Abi.
One day, when the dust has long settled on planet Earth, aliens will rediscover the planet, and examine the history of human beings. Amongst the curiosities they will try and decipher will, potentially, be the sheer, epic scope of the Great Wall of China, the architectural grace of the Egyptian pyramids, why exactly man tinkered with atomic weapons, and what the hell Pete Yurkowksi was trying to accomplish when he placed that idol clue into RC’s bag (okay, I might have been facetious about the ‘pyramid’ part…)
Pete's myopia on full display...
The dismantling of the core Tandang alliance progressed with Pete’s dismissal, and Abi was surely next to go until her ‘injured’ knee bailed her out in the 11th hour with an immunity victory. The avalanche of Tandang’s power could be so attached to Pete’s insistence on becoming an instigator. What he didn’t know, was that while he was trying to plant the seeds of chaos inside the heads of those he was aligned with, he was also supplying them with the very nails that would be used to box up his own reality coffin. It was a scrambling move, and other scramblers like Jon Dalton, Rob Cesternino and John Cochran scrapped and clawed mostly because their backs were continually up against the wall. Pete had found himself in a strong alliance, and he sabotaged the dynamics of the team by his desire for control. Like a mad scientist with no remorse, he tinkered with the emotions and chemical stability of his tribe, and thus, set off Abi’s ‘crazy’ switch. Unfortunately, once activated, there was no turning back, and Abi would become a monsoon of annoyance; this irreversible tempest would rain a combination of negativity and arrogance upon those around her with the sour sting of acid rain.
Well, this isn't going to be pretty
That's only going to numb the pain, Abi...
"Man, this is lasting longer than Daisuke's wind-up..."
“Even the losers/get lucky sometimes” Tom Petty once sang, and there’s not a more fitting stanza to define Abi’s recent “resurgence”. As Abi’s alliance-mates fill the seats of the jury, the show quickly regressed to ‘The Abi Show’. Her emotions became the forefront of nearly every conversation around camp. Her moods and sourness created such a toxic environment that everybody else appeared miserable as a consequence. And Abi would tearfully coast through Tribals; the focus entirely on her, representing the truly narcissistic personality that she harbors. It was a disastrous turn of events for the show, but who really didn’t see it coming? Explosive personalities have a way of manipulating the show, and on Survivor, it’s really nothing new…Other castaways, like Colton, Na’Onka, and Phillip Shepard demonstrated personality traits that made them almost larger-than-life characters, and demanded more attention than their edits could simply afford. Opposed to those other players though, Abi is hardly as entertaining. You literally feel for the others who have to put up with her histrionics (such sympathy can only run so deep though, as Carter/Denise & Malcolm had a chance to vote with RC/Penner, but voted with the Tandang triumvirate instead).
Am I the only one who feels a little badly for that tree?
Abi’s edit has been desperately seeking sympathy these past two weeks, but it’s such an unrealistic option for anybody who has watched her for the previous twenty days. The thing about bullies is that they are often rough around the edges, but razzle their feathers a little and watch as they break down faster than a Jenga tower when it’s The Hulk’s turn to play. Abi was called out on several points, and her comeuppance was met with a teary disposition and a general ambivalence from the rest of the castaways. Nobody rushed to her defense, and it just made the scene that much more awkward, because it confirmed that everybody else agreed with Denise’s theory that Abi was a self-entitled mess of misery and mirth (well, not those words exactly…but close enough). Heck, not even Pete offered a word of support in defense of his foremost alliance partner. It was almost as if he had finally realized just how much he had actually screwed up in this game, and probably began to resent Abi as a consequence (that, and the fact that she refused to play the idol for him to keep him alive). Host Jeff Probst would try and counterbalance Abi’s social awkwardness by factoring in a race barrier, but that just put a band-aid on Abi’s overarching character flaw: that she is a compassionless and spiteful individual simply used to getting her way, regardless of the consequence. Deep down, I wanted to see glimpses of contrition inside of Abi; there had to be some crumbs of compunction inside of her for how she treated RC almost like a sub-human…right? Maybe it‘s there, deep down, but I think that Abi is just too self-absorbed to give two shits about anybody that doesn’t fall within the individualistic diorama of her soul. There is supposed to be a ruthless aspect to Survivor, but Abi’s cruel streak often comes off as juvenile and sophomoric. And it’s never easy on the eyes…
Abi can giveth, but she's not very good with the taketh.
"It's playing out like it's supposed to play out..."
It’s a natural human reaction to feel pity upon a person engulfed in tears, but one also has to examine the entire body of work before offering up their condolences. Specifically, Abi made RC’s life hell at Tandang. When Abi felt like RC had betrayed her, she shut RC out, and their relationship became as irreparable as a shattered snow globe. RC would become alienated, and the social dynamics of the entire tribe would fracture in turn. Despite RC’s most logical attempts to find reason behind Abi’s anger and belligerence, it was a fruitless endeavor, and Abi shed nary a tear when RC was booted despite RC’s willingness to play the game she had waited years to play. A bully regresses to tears when they find that they have lost all their power and credibility, and try to feed off of the sympathy of others when the tables have turned. And based on Abi’s track history of remorseless, cold actions, she will not get a drop of compassion for me. She made her thorny bed, and it’s more than fair that she should sleep in it.
RC (thinking): "This shit is about to get real!"
"Seriously, Jeff. We need some popcorn with all this drama..."
RC! Don't rub them! There's a visine for that!
Put a smile on your face/And make the world a better place...
It was around this time, when Abi opens her eyes and decides that it’s finally time to start playing the game. Better late than never, right? At the Survivor Auction, she purchases the winning clue that allows her to move ahead in the Immunity Challenge, and she even concocts a plan where the clue is more than just a free ride to immunity victory; she claims that it includes a hint to the location of a new idol. Well…That was some potent piece of parchment, huh? And pray tell, what else was written on that clue? Astrology signs? More testimonies about General Petraeus’s liaisons? The winning Powerball numbers? Kate Middleton’s pregnancy test results? In all fairness, I truly doubt that anybody fell for this little hoax, but it was at least a little entertaining to see all of those “Abi…you’re so full of shit” faces. She wins Immunity, marches into Tribal like a toy soldier and is suddenly grinning ear to ear. Because after this point, all the other players can discuss how booting Abi will be the number one priority, and that they’re all interested in taking the strongest to the end and beating the strongest (a farce of a statement in it’s own right). But what’s more likely to happen, is that the internal struggles will rear it’s nasty head as they try and jockey for the final three. Perhaps, next week, if Carter loses immunity, it’ll be seen as the perfect time to oust him. And Abi survives. The following week, Mike doesn’t win immunity, and Malcolm and Denise conspire against him. And like clockwork, Abi survives…and also becomes the swing vote to break that tie. Whether she realizes it or not, she’s playing the game, but the end result will still be obvious: Abi will get absolutely destroyed by the jury…and that’s when it becomes ‘Abi against the world’ all over again.
Abi gushes about her auction strategy
"Yeah...maybe this should be a silent auction next year..."
Everybody's hair was a little grayer by the time Abi finished reading the epic clue
Of course, Abi isn’t the only wishy-washer player to progress far into this game. I do like Lisa, but I have a hard time respecting her game. She gets caught up in her own moral obligations far too often, and her zeal to try and become a game-changer was contrived at every turn. Her biggest power play (to oust Malcolm’s idol) blew up in her face, and resulted in her apologizing profusely. Concerning Penner, she claimed how much she respected him, but she would never vote with him. She claimed to be loyal to Tandang, but I feel she was always loyal for the wrong reasons. She seemed to hate herself the more and more she voted with the Tandang triumvirate, and one has to consider how much time she has spent mentally dissecting every single move she has made. What ultimately happens, is that she becomes a distraction, and a wild card in the grand equation. It always pains me when players start resorting to the whole “Maybe I just wasn’t cut out to play this game” discourse, because I can always think of players voted out previously whose journey’s were trimmed short, who damn well were cut for the game (observing Marty/Alina getting voted out and then witnessing Na’Onka and Kelly Shinn voluntarily quit a couple shows later on Nicaragua really rubbed me the wrong way). If Lisa thinks she can win the game with tears and apologies during the final Tribal, I’d imagine she’s in for a rude awakening. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. She needs to take accountability for her decisions, and not psychoanalyze how every decision will potentially change what it means for her existence down the road. All that said, I do like her. Perhaps, I’m just expecting her to be somebody that she can’t be.
More cerebral than Abi, but still often confused
Both Abi and Lisa have played their cards in a way that will almost guarantee their presence at the final Tribal, which will almost certainly guarantee either Malcolm or Denise the vested title. The jury will push back on Abi/Lisa, and, inevitably, the Crying Game will begin all over again. But remember: There’s no crying in Survivor. Well, of course, unless your name is Lill, Ghandia, Na’Onka, Melinda, Chet, Colton, Danielle, Rafe, Janu, Kathy, Ramona, Sierra, Sophie, Tarzan, Sugar, Ami, Angie, Russell, Mikayla, Chelsea…and I’m sure I missed a bunch, hehe.
Best seats in town to the Abi Show
Clearly, Abi is never going to be an origami expert
Wow...that origami thing was just a joke. jeez...
"Way to appear likable, Abi."
This is very intense...I love it!!!
Abi wishes she could get in on this...
"Good morning, and in case I don't see ya, good afternoon
Well...somebody has clealy never seen the Truman Show.
Sadly, RC played a very small part in this episode, but as always, her star gets to shine when the lights turn on at Ponderosa…And with each week that passes, their eventual reunion/confrontation becomes more anticipated than the next hot MMA match on Pay-Per-View. Presently, our pulchritudinous princess’s Ponderosa period becomes pleasantly preferable, pending Penner’s propensity for pungent, piquant playfulness.
Queen RC has become reasonably restless.
She can’t gather a confession from Pete
And such boring company, inspires great ennui.
And even though she was rooting for Penner,
His presence at Castle Ponderosa will make life much better.
Armed with witty jokes and a wicked sense of humor,
Penner presence makes RC one happy consumer!
Now, she finally has an ear to bend,
Queen RC’s so elated, just to have a friend.
Suddenly, castle life becomes more than just naming names,
For Penner can mix drinks, and get them all to play games.
Plus, am I the only one who can pretty much see,
That a quick glance at Penner’s shirt produces the letters “RC”?
She plays Backgammon with Artis; passing along the vaulted dice cup.
And when Artis’s turn is long overcooked,
She finds time to finish one hella long book…
Like an estranged family, they play a game of cards,
Not sure of which game, but there sits RC: A personified Queen of Hearts.
Yes, RC’s smile is certainly infectious,
And her swimsuit’s a tapestry of colorful confection.
With Pete, RC can finally be in the same room,
But he’s more focused on his house of cards than RC? Um…buffoon?
And then of course, the Monopoly game lurks,
“If only Abi was here…she could buy the Water Works…”
“Yes, with Penner here, life sure is more fertile“,
RC reflects, from the shell of a rubber turtle.
The spell of her malaise, temporarily lifted,
RC happily explains, how her mood has shifted.
But of course, she still anticipates her showdown with Abi,
But for now? Life at the Ponderosa, is none too shabby.
Lionel the Llama's Weeky Spit Award:
Pete. His lack of an apology to RC at Ponderosa makes this llama "lla-mad"!!!
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