Episode 3: A Game of Rice

    

 

Episode 3: A Game of Rice

 

 

      Food is short at Tandangville, and tempers flare when an impromptu decision made during a reward challenge leads to a forfeit that rubs several tenants aversely. And it’s an exploitation of just how divided this tribe actually is. Offering his usual bite-sized doses of sagacity, ornery Artis mentions how the “tribe” hadn’t made a decision when referring to “Ricegate”, and that Mike was acting on his own inhibitions. But isn’t an individualistic mindset the very notion that one can conjure after watching numerous examples of the Tandang camp life? There’s precious little to ever be jolly about, and while many pervious tribes have been shown having a grand ol’ time, things are seemingly very cool in Tandangville. I’ve seen Randy Bailey smile more than I’ve seen grins on the respective members of Tandang when they are forced to coexist in a tiny little petri dish somewhere in the Philippines. Hell, a new member is ushered onto their tribe, and rather than becoming the outsider-looking-in, Malcolm becomes a potential leader. But what makes the Tandangians unique is their ability to excel when push comes to shove, and the Wooden Turkey Idol is on the line. 

 

 

Only idol I've ever been tempted to bid on on eBay

 

     Quite simply, the whole scenario is one giant microcosm of what happens to a tribe that was splintering from the beginning, and can be written off as another example of a tribe divided. On Survivor: Redemption Island, once Russell was voted out, Stephanie and Krista were pretty much reduced to simplified replicants of their former selves. In Survivor: Africa, the Samburu tribe was easily fractured from the beginning with a massive gender gap that forced Lindsey and company to exist as a tribe-in-a-tribe. A glue stick and rubber cement both act as adhesives, but nobody wants to be that kid at the science fair grimacing when his papers fall off his corrugated cardboard display because of improper adhesiveness. Not every tribe can end up as cohesive as Westman’s Koror bunch, and you would think that Tandang is one giant sticky note waiting to fall off the fridge, but their competitiveness might be their ultimate glue. One could say that they have an advantage going into the merge. While many lovey-dovey tribes are eventually forced to turn on and each other and render former friends pseudo-enemies (is Kelly still waiting from that olive branch from Sue Hawk?), Tandang already exists on a very individual level; which is exactly the point of Survivor post merge.

 

 

The timeless arbitrator

 

     Artis claims they are a tribe “plus one”. Any outsider tuning in would assume that Malcolm is the personification of Artis’s mathematical postulation, but he was actually referring to Mike. Malcolm comes in and is treated like a boss from day one. If Tandang was a close group, the idea of somebody infiltrating their unity would be disastrous, but Malcolm’s instant acceptance is one of the many signs that point to the tribe’s overall inflatable community. 

 

 

From new kid in town to new king in town...

 

 

     Mike’s decision was ultimately a flawed one. If the survivor’s were all plants, than rice would represent the sunlight and water that would allow them to survive. Botanically speaking, that might sound about as sound as Mike’s theories on the nutritional advantages of eating raw rice (I’m not Dr. Atkins or anything, but I believe the outer coating of rice creates for poor digestion in humans), but it’s a fairly accurate assessment of the game. Remember in Survivor: Australia when Jeff Probst offered some of the players rice because it had become fairly obvious that they may not of made it otherwise (Probst coolly took their shelter as compensation). Well, rice has been one of the great constants in the show, and it acts as sort of a soothsayer to the stomachs of those who fear emaciation and the prospects of starvation. Mike’s sudden deal was flawed for a couple of reasons though. Number one: it was done without complete agreement from his tribe. Clearly, the elastic on Artis’ birthday hat had snapped, because his vocal dissatisfaction of the move could be heard all the way at the Ponderosa. Such a voice of protest would have been enough to put the plan to a vote. Number two: There were no guarantees. You can’t trust Penner. You can trust him even less when his poker face is masked with mud and his head had spent the hour below a place where the sun rarely shines. You have zero idea how much rice they have at their disposal. Maybe they had similar problems with rations, and they had potentially less rice than Tandang. So while Mike’s heart was in the right place, it might have been a move that was more headstrong than headsmart. I suppose you could say that he was caught with mud on his face. 

 

 

 

Lisa looks so cutesy in the mud!

 

 

"Think they'll put this shot in the opening credits? Oh...yeah.  They stopped doing those..."

 

 

There comes an age when being called "Birthday Boy" isn't cute anymore.

 

The hat was obviously RC's idea!

 

     Onto RC. The last time we saw our heroine, she had turned to the sea to find refuge and relief. Sailors and swimmers alike have found inexpensive therapy in the open water for centuries, and one could clearly tell that RC was more at peace in the forgiving waters than she was around a tribe that had seemingly went out of it’s way to alienate her. The ocean never barked at her, reprimanded her, or planned to double-cross her. It was actually one of the most heartfelt moments on the show yet (I still enjoyed Russell’s soliloquy of psychoanalytical proportions to Denise as well), as RC attempted to separate herself from the rest of her tribe mates by showing genuine emotion without any such sacrosanct vindication. Her gorgeous serenade reminded us that these people are more normal than any of us superfans sometimes choose to believe.

 

All hail RC, Great Summoner of light!

 

     Clowns to the left of me/Jokers to the right/Here I am/Stuck in the middle with you, have surely been the lyrics playing in RC’s internal iPod ever since she realized the fraud that her alliance with Abi-Maria and Peter had become. And if costumes make a clown, than Abi-Marie deserves her own circus. Her opening strategy of using sex appeal has proved to be as sexy as a Kris Jenner nipslip, and her contributions at challenges prove that she’s about as competitive as table tennis matches in an old folks home (no offense, old ping-ponging peeps). And Pete, who is about as trustworthy as a department store mirror, becomes the “Joker“ in the Stealer‘s Wheel analogy. RC’s new plan consists of waiting for Abi-Maria to erupt like the vindictive volcano she honestly is. She’s playing a two-way game with Magic Mike, and in the history of two-way alliances, this one has potential. They’re a Malcolm/Lisa swing away from running this game, and it could very be Abi-Marie’s amateurish, naivety that could bite her in that unabashedly, much-ballyhooed derrière of hers. 

 

So long appetite... 

 

"Wonder what the brain trust is up to"

 

 

 

Hardcore strategizing

 

 

*Sigh

 

     RC has also become something of an expressionist during her tenure in Tandangville. She nails certain expressions that some actor’s spend years trying to perfect in front of their bathroom mirrors. From sheer exasperation to complete contention, RC’s penchant for magnificently manicured mannerisms has become one of the shining storylines of the year! Hey, if the rather stoic Sundra can get a cameo on Lost, then RC can surely carve a niche in the Silver Screen. Just sayin’…Let's take a quick look at some of her expressions:

Staring into oblivion...

 

 

Seriously?

 

 

Joshing

 

 

Here we go again...

 

 

My lips are sealed

 

 

Ennui

 

 

Determination

 

 

 

Bitch, please...

 

 

That's more like it!!! <3

 

 

     Back to game play, RC has limited options now, but she also has the potential to be an ambassador when a merge occurs. She’s the type of fringe player who is smart and savvy enough to find herself in a good position once the moniker of Tandangville is finally retired for good. For now, she’s still a strong part of Tandang’s dominance, and until Abi-Maria’s inevitable tempest, she just needs to lie low enough, and for her own benefit: far away from the toxic camp life and into the wistful waves of the ocean. I truly believe that RC has not yet begun to fight. 

 

Is this real life???

 

 

 

 

 

 

                              Lionel the Llama's Spit Award

Artis. Love the guy, but threatening to slap RC (joshing or not) is worth a couple of soaking servings of llama saliva. Son, I’m dissapoint